Be the Man


Boy, this past weekend was a busy one.

Something my girlfriend said has been resonating with me since Thursday night and caused me to reflect internally in a different manner than I had before. Throughout the course of our relationship, like any other, we’ve had ups and downs and how we both deal with them differently. Coming into this relationship I have learned there are a lot of areas I am unfamiliar with when it comes to living with someone. For starters, you don’t treat them as you would a roommate, who cares whose mess it is if it needs to be done, DO IT. Up till I had met her I had only ever lived with roommates, my parents or on my own. In each of those scenarios, the way you exist in that environment differs. Parents give you chores to do, roommates make messes you don’t feel responsible for and living on your own where YOU are the only one that sees your environment. Everyone has a routine, a way they organize, put things in the fridge or whatever it may be when it comes to living in a home. How you flexible and adaptive you are when it comes to your significant other routines, habits, and lifestyle is VERY important.

I’ve always heard that saying, a true best friend is someone you can tolerate and enjoy living with. Really didn’t make sense till now and makes me appreciate more the relationship I have with my girlfriend.

Anyways, this past Thursday night my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument, which revolved around something every guy on the planet values, being a man. Yup, I hate to admit it, but it boiled down to me not being the “man” of our household. It’s not like this was the case all the time, but more often than others certain instances would pop up and I failed to step up and take control and direct the situation. I am not sure why when it comes to making certain decisions or taking certain actions I revert to something I know I am not. On one hand, I have thought about the fact that I have been trying to be the best in so many different, new areas for me. I have not only forgotten ME but also have become mediocre or the worst in areas I wasn’t before.

At my girlfriend’s recommendation, which she is right, I should narrow it down allowing me to focus better and then eventually expand into everything I am trying to be better at now. My personality has always been one, where anything I do no matter how menial, I want to win and be the best. That type of personality is an immature one that I need to reprogram and learn that it is OK to be average at somethings and GOOD at others. Over time, I can accumulate and be better at more things, but there is no rush for me to be the best at everything or prove myself to anyone. I mean come on… everyone knows that with age comes wisdom… so maybe now… I am a little wiser and humbler than I was last year.

All I know is she is right (I mean… every girl is right… aren’t I correct their guys?) Haha. Really though! She is 100% correct in the manner of me not being the “man.” I believe to my core that I am everything that she says she needs and I also believe she sees that inside of me. I know her, if she didn’t see any hope inside of me she’d point at the door and tell me to leave. Actions speak louder than words! Actions carry weight and results on their own, whereas, words are empty and meaningless, without actions being taken to fulfill them. I need to stop telling her who I know I am and what I am capable of and just go out and do it.


So, to all the guys reading this hopefully you can walk away after reading this thinking about two things.

  1. Can I be a better man, husband, boyfriend towards my significant other? What are the areas I could work on?
  2.  Be the MAN, but at the same time treasure and respect your significant other, they probably know you better than you know yourself.

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