Drop the Phone

droid-turbo-2-2550.0Phew!! Man, it was nice to take a small break from all the hustle and bustle and go out on a DATE. We have both been so busy adulting neither of us could really remember the last time we went out. Time just seems to fly when you are busy and it’s hard to believe that it’s almost fall.

I found this neat sushi place that I ate at with a coworker and thought it would be nice to take the girlfriend there. You’d think that by being in the Seattle area you couldn’t go wrong with any form of seafood…. Well, we both had yet to really experience good sushi together and she has always been let down anytime we venture out and try a new place.

At first, I thought she wasn’t going to be interested because it was going to be a farther drive for her since I needed to get back to work in Seattle. Our morning was rushed, and she wasn’t feeling great, I kind of made a cheesy, romantic gesture in asking her out on a sushi date and didn’t hear from her until it was time for us to be there. Once she had woken up and oriented herself she said, “No,” but quickly offered to come if we could go an hour later than what we had planned originally. She knows me allllll too well and knew that when she said “No” initially, she presumed I instantly was let down and frustrated. She was right, I was let down and I really wanted to bring back some “us” time into the picture and have some ‘fun.’ Even though things have been going great for us, at times we would grind, get burnt out and or just be frustrated at one another. Both of us had forgotten what it meant to have fun with one another because things have been so busy lately. So, it was nice for us to get out even if it was only a simple lunch date.

I was the first one to show up and while I waited for her started playing a game on my cell phone until she arrived. Instead of instantly putting my cell phone down and focusing 100% of my attention on her I finished my game giving her only 50% or less of my attention. Wow… I am an idiot! I really wasn’t thinking about what I was doing and was caught up in the moment of my game I didn’t even take a second to consider the impact of me playing a game and not giving her my full attention meant. Yea, I could have done something WAY worse, but we hadn’t been out in forever and instead of giving her all my attention right off the bat I chose to do something else and THEN give her my attention.

Throughout the rest of the date I occasionally would pull out my cell phone, check the time, my investments and maybe scroll through some of my Facebook news feed. Never once considering the implications of my actions. Yea…… it wasn’t until AFTER and LATER that night, until my girlfriend made a comment about how much it bothered her that I realized that I was being insolent towards her.

It’s not like we broke up after this or even fought about it, but it made me realize that my actions, even though they were innocent, ruined the date… It did in my eyes… I mean we had fun, laughed and enjoyed the time we spent together, but all the while my girlfriend was bothered by me not fully being in the moment and present with her. I was oblivious to my actions and after we kissed good bye and I went back to work, I thought to myself, “Boy… we both needed that.” It took her bringing it up to me to realize that even though we both really needed that time together, away from everything/everyone…. Only a part of me was there, while the rest of me was who knows where.

I want to always be in the moment, whether it is with her, Natalia or anything I am doing in my life. She knows that I want to be 100% in the moment and that I am working on it diligently. I am happy that she felt comfortable enough to share that with me knowing that in some areas I take things very personally. Cause the worst feeling for me is to feel like I am working hard, making progress and moving towards my goals only to realize that nope, I am just treading water and not changing… Forgetting instantly that changes take time, commitment and strength. You may also need in your life, like me, someone who will tell it to you straight doesn’t play games and waste your time etc. There are a few people in my life that do that for me, my girlfriend being one of them, so I am appreciative she pointed that out to me.

 

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